Today I realized that something had changed. Then it hit me. I realized that the change had been me.
It was a jam packed, back to back, calls interrupted, meetings run-over, decisions achieved and not achieved, high fives distributed, laughter shared… really just a typical day at the office. But somehow it felt completely different. Driving home, I realized that I was feeling pretty good… excellent in fact. I smiled and looked forward to the craziness ahead at home, the scraped knees and sticking tights, getting my kids to eat more than just cucumber and yoghurt, the happiness and disappointments, the next chapter of Charlie and the Chocolate factory and the putting to bed.
And I realized that everything just felt lighter and different.
With the pavement rushing beneath my wheels, I thought about the last two weeks, and what all had taken place. It was filled normal daily practice with the addition of a move of our family home, the trip to Berlin with the Seuss team, a beta-launch of Zocket and various consulting projects. And at many moments, I felt like I was drowning. The entrepreneurial dream was getting a tinge of an exhausting nightmare, the kind where you wake up in the morning as tired as when you went to bed. All the time, emails piling up, the voicemails, the rushing from place to place and it was all I could do was keep it together.
And looking back, I did keep it together, not beautifully and gracefully, but the best that I possibly could. On those two weeks, I also truly enjoyed myself. I really loved being in Berlin with the amazing Seuss team, at the Zocket beta launch we joked, laughed, grumped and brainstormed. And now, I look around my house, with the seemingly endless packed boxes (still after 2 weeks after our move) and the unpacking task seems to never end.
But it hit me completely, fist in the face, eye opening, jaw dropping today. I am finally, finally enjoying the ride.
I am consciously feeling and enjoying the high’s and low’s, the painful as well as the effortless. With all of the goal setting, high ambition, results oriented drivers that are a part of me, I often forget that the entrepreneurial experience is the part that I love. That is what gives me adrenaline, and it honestly makes me feel like I am flying. Ok, it at times makes me also feel like I am falling out of the sky without a parachute, but that also is part of the rush. I may crash and burn on some of the ideas and activities we are coming up with. That is still a real possibility. And am I still making mistakes and getting things wrong? Yes and yes, on a daily, hourly, and at times by the minute basis. But allowing myself to experience and enjoy the bumps, the scrapes and the pivots as much as I enjoy the successes, the high’s and the pride makes my life just that much more fun.
So in the meantime, I need to ask you a favor, because I can use your help with this. If you see me running around, looking stressed and unhappy? Please take a moment and remind me… Enjoy the ride.
Written by Kieran Canisius, entrepreneur extraordinaire and Co – Founder of Seuss Consulting and CEO of Zocket. Kieran helps life-sciences businesses grow with warmth, empathy, honesty and trust. Call Kieran at +31(0) 20 29 00 016 or send her an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org to have an engaging conversation on how to grow your company.